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She could feel her wetness on her panties. Her vulva was tumescent, her clit turgid. She envisioned the ridge of her hooded clit protruding from her labia, as she knew it was, and she envisioned the tip of her clit protruding from its hood, begging to be touched, rubbed, squeezed, and even abused. Her clit was so sensitive she knew it it would be torture to be rough with it, but sometimes she needed to punish her clit in the worst way to get off in the best.Really, that was just in her imagination. She didn't want to injure herself. She didn't want to abuse her clit so much that it hurt for hours (or days as she had once done) and would stop her from masturbating two or three times before she slept. But imagining a man holding her captive and taking his fill of her, slaking his thirst in whatever ways he wanted, tying her up, and threatening and hurting her—especially threatening and hurting her. Fear was a favorite fantasy.The bus ride dragged on interminably, and boys she knew kept. Why -- " Come on, Shane, we have to get back to the gym," interrupted the other Blueband, "You want the Doc to get pissed?" As the two of them left I flung the new pill bottle across the room and curled up crying, keeping one hand on my crotch, which, strangely, wasn't throbbing for quite as long as I thought it would.The rest of that night was horrible. The shots I'd been given had me feeling so sick and dizzy that I skipped dinner. I must have dry heaved more than ten times. I felt horribly feverish. Pat had come knocking on the door but I pretended not to be in. I was so nausious and depressed I didn't want to see anybody. Eventually I felt so tired and so queasy that I just couldn't take it anymore, and I swallowed one of the new pills.-----I woke up the next morning to discover Jim was back. He looked like he was getting ready to go to the gym, but he paused when he realized I was awake. "They told me what happened," he said. "Is it really that fucking bad?!! I mean, why can't.
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